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Coda, They have a unique perspective!
Sugar
post Sun Dec 28, 2003, 08:25 AM
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I am willing to bet that CODA's have grown up with unique perspectives/experiences as children of deaf adults.

They certainly do have challenges - maybe even funny incidents. What do you think? Got any stories to share?
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Sherry
post Sun Dec 28, 2003, 11:27 AM
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No ALIAS until January 2005!!! EEK!
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I'm not a CODA but my kids are- and they tell the same stories over and over! Namely- that their mom (me, hehe) always appeared "hearing" to them, they thought I was faking my deafness becuz I seem to have eyes in the back of my head. They thought I always knew what they were up to. My daughter said the day she lost her virginity, she was talking about it on the phone behind my back and I immediately asked her if she had sex! (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) And they used to dread my singing. Great disclipline tool! (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/biggrin1.gif) And their teachers wanted them to bring me to "Show and Tell" and teach ASL, much to their chagrin! My daughter was mortified when I told her Girl Scout leader that the ASL signs the girl scouts had learned were incorrect.... (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

Once- my daughter and I were research subjects for a grad. student who was studying deaf mothers with hearing daughters and we were filmed while making pizza together. It was a comedy of errors caught on tape. She was a horrible BRAT for some reason and I was filmed trying to keep her in line...I was so glad when it was over. The student later wrote me and said we had the most "interesting dynamic" of all subjects filmed and I didn't ask questions.....I knew exactly what they meant! *blush*

Sherry
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Lantana
post Sun Dec 28, 2003, 03:05 PM
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"Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted"
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Everything Sherry states above sounds familiar.

My childrens' earliest memories are of pounding on the bathtub to let me know they were finished with their baths and to come and "check".

The kids got by with making big plans on the telephone because I had no idea what they were talking about, they made absolute certain their facial expressions, etc. were BLANK when planning a party! Or they turned their backs on me, which made me paranoid and curious!!

I have been accused (like Sherry) of having extra senses, because I always start talking about the same subject everyone else is on, even if we are in the dark!

My childrens' friends had fun trying to immitate MY voice and speech! But I did not know this until my children were adult. They tell me that they remained "cool" with it THEN but that NOW they become on the defensive.
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Sugar
post Sun Dec 28, 2003, 05:22 PM
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When my DS was in elementary school I got a phone call from the office at my workplace asking for me to come in and speak to someone. Evidently some school official had been leaving messages on our answering machine because DS had misbehaved. Smart kid...he didn't mention the messages!

My kids are my speech therapists. I am having a terrible time pronouncing all kinds of words. It must be getting worse, so I am seriously considering going for speech therapy.
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Lantana
post Sun Dec 28, 2003, 08:44 PM
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"Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted"
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Oh yes, Sugar, my oldest daughter was always my speech therapist and still is! It took me YEARS to learn how to say "pizza" appropriately!

Another hard one (for me) is "hawk". My kids says it comes out like "honk"! I find myself avoiding words that I am not sure how to prounounce. I can SPELL them, but not pronounce them!
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Mark B.
post Mon Dec 29, 2003, 11:49 AM
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CI-Borgs Rule!
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My kids are amazed/perplexed/downright dumbfounded that I have "extra senses". For example, "How the [buh-leeep] did he know we were watching TV late at night and he was sleeping?" Duuuuhhh....the light bothers my eyes and I can see the flickering if I just open my eyes for a fraction of a second, hellooooo! (knocking on wooden heads).

They're always correcting my mispronunciations and they laugh when I struggle with them. However, one look from me, and they know that the jokes' over and they'd better stifle themselves.

Oh....and because deaf folks are sooo in-tune with facial expressions....I can IMMEDIATELY tell when one of them screwed up royally and is awaiting sentencing to the woodshed... (insert maniacal laughter here). (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Mark (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/cool.gif)
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Sugar
post Mon Dec 29, 2003, 05:32 PM
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Oh man Mark B. you ain't kidding! I can wake up in no time flat if a light is flicked on or the slightest movement in the room. Our cat KNOWS that all she has to do is hop up and STARE at us and we will wake up!
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Lantana
post Mon Dec 29, 2003, 06:06 PM
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"Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted"
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I recall when my kids were young -- like 9 or 10 and I had one of those old tank vacumes with the long hose -- and my oldest son used to pull the plug and stand there giggling while I vacumed away!

(IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)
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Mouse
post Wed Dec 31, 2003, 09:37 PM
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Latana,

OMG your son is cute... haha...

My son HATES it when I vaccume he would plug his ear.. but ... never unplugged on me... ..... yet... lol

Addie... (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
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Songbird
post Thu Jan 1, 2004, 12:18 AM
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I always turn off hearing aids every times when I use vacuum. It's the same thing to hair blow dryer. It is really that loud.
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Sugar
post Sat Jan 3, 2004, 07:37 AM
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Lots of times especially on weekends ~ I'll just keep my HA's off. I am not sure why...guess it is the appeal of peace and quiet ~ eh?

BTW...speaking of CODA's....here is a funny sing-song thing my DD taught me:

Cry me a river
Build me a bridge
GET OVER IT!!!


That's what teens say when someone has been complaining too much! (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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Sherry
post Sat Jan 3, 2004, 11:18 AM
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No ALIAS until January 2005!!! EEK!
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That's interesting....I keep my CI and HA on even when vacuuming! (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) Different strokes for different folks I guess! I can't stand silence. I actually get anxious when it's quiet.

Sherry
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Mouse
post Sat Jan 3, 2004, 08:08 PM
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Sherry,

Interesting, I also used to get anxious when it's too quiet, but I have gotten used to it over time now I rarely wear hearing aid like I used to. Even tho I been told I speak better and respond better when I have hearing aid.

I have found a few friends who are CODA's and I always found them so easy to get along with because I'm from a hearing family and they are from deaf family, we both can understand eachother quite well. Is that the case with a few of you? or what do you find your relationship with a fellow CODA's?


(IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) Addie (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)
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Mouse
post Sat Jan 3, 2004, 08:12 PM
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I have a hearing son, I notice he has kinda a shoulder weight on him between me and my family. I have one of the worse family I could ever imagine having a family.... and often wish I didn't have a family like them sad to say... however, with my son he's always unsure who to trust.. me or my family because they can speak.. and hear.. and the opposite with me. Hmmm... I hope when he grows up he will realize... he's 8 years old but a bundle of joy for me and I love him with all my heart.. I'm patient.... and waiting.... just wondering if thats the case in some families.. and I sure as hell hope there's no other family like mine treating their own kids and grandchildren like mine does :S


(IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) Addie (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)
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Sugar
post Sat Jan 3, 2004, 11:42 PM
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Frankly you are not alone or have an unusual situation Addie. Years ago I read in a newspaper that a man and woman who were parents of a deaf adult planned to take the adult, deaf person to court to gain custody of their grandchild because they felt their grown deaf child was not fit to have children. It was unclear if deafness was the reason.

Anyway... I feel the child of deaf adults will make his or her own decision as they grow older. I know my kids are pretty discerning when it comes to the authencity
of others ~ family or otherwise.
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Mouse
post Sun Jan 4, 2004, 03:21 AM
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Sugar,

Thanks.. I was just wondering... My mom herself is a counsellor, and she always supported my side until I had my son.. geez whiz.. things took a 360 turn around :S. I'm just being patient and I know my son will realize that as soon as he gets older and wiser.


(IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

(IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) Addie (IMG:http://www.deafonline2.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)
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